Simmonds-Upton: Scribbler

I recently made a decision, probably the most significant one I have ever made.

I have been in Ukraine for the last four months, volunteering with local organisations to help the war effort. During this time I’ve been minded to fully relocate to Ukraine only if I could make it viable. I was worried however: what would I do for money, how would I integrate, could I really learn the language, where would I live, would I really be able to succeed? Yesterday, walking back to my short term rental from a local concert, the snow and cold clinging to my jacket, happier than I’d been in a long time, I realised I had it wrong.

If I thought only of moving when I was sure it would work out, I would not make the effort. I would never ensure it happened. I was giving myself room to fail in my goal, knowing I could just return to the UK even though it was not what I wanted. It cannot be a matter of making the move only if it’s viable. It’s must be one of moving and making every effort to make it work.So I decided, I am going to move. I am going to emigrate.

Lviv is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. It is a city of stunning architecture, close to natural beauty. It has incredible food, wonderful culture, and a beautiful spirit. It’s people are welcoming, and curious. It has, just a few short months, become like home to me. As a foreigner, there is a genuine sense that the locals are happy you are here. Not just if you are a volunteer but for the very fact you have decided to come, despite the war, and experience Ukraine.

I have met local people in bars, at concerts, and while volunteering, all of whom have been happy to see foreigners in their country. They are curious about what attracted you to Ukraine. They want to know what made you stay. They ask your favourite things about Ukraine. Finally, in the truest test of your Ukrainian familiarity, they ask if you shop at Silpo or AtB. I’ve found myself welcomed by young people who speak fluent English and by Babusia who need to use Google Translate for every interaction.¹

Every Ukrainian I have told I would like to move here has been surprised yet enthused by the fact I would choose to make their city and country my home. Ukrainians I’ve met want to stay and make their country better, despite the hardships it and they face. People don’t agree on everything, but they agree that Ukraine is worth making the nation it can be. Those I’ve spoken to appreciate the fact any foreigner would seek to be a part of this.

This couldn’t contrast more with life back home in the UK. From political stagnation, to a runaway cost of living crisis, to social decay, life in the UK appears to be getting worse with no reason. There is no war, no catastrophe, no disastrous external factor that causes our hardships. People just seem resigned to a worsening life, and don’t know what to do about it.² I, like a great many people in the UK, just cannot see it getting better. Despite all this however, the decision to leave was still not an easy one.

In a way, this is the scariest thing I have ever done. I have never lived abroad, let alone emigrated formally. I have never left everything and everyone behind to start over in a place I do not speak the language, where I have no employment or income. To me, it is honestly a scarier reality than the air alerts and threat of Russian missiles. Which is why I feel it is something I have to do. Too often I’ve put off things I wished to do for fear of it not working out. Writing a book, committing to a blog, publishing my board game, starting a business. Self-doubt is a powerful self-limiter.

I don’t know how I will make this work. I don’t know where I will find the time to learn the language (which is an incredibly complicated one for English speakers to learn). I don’t know what I will do for work. All I know is that my time volunteering here helping, in the small ways I can, has been the most life affirming time of my life. I want nothing more than to remain here.

So I’ve decided, after much wavering, to just stop worrying, and love emigrating. The rest, well, I guess I’ll just have to figure it out.

1. Yes, this experience may stem from the privilege as a straight-passing white European. However it is the only one I can speak to. ↩︎
2. Not that I am unaware of the hypocrisy in lauding the Ukrainian resilience to stay and make things better, while I seek only to leave my motherland. ↩︎